In Loving Memory of...

1923 - 2007

My beloved grandma left us on Saturday, 15th September 2007. I flew back from Melbourne to attend her funeral.

I thought, as a way to remember my grandma, i would talk about what she was like. In my uncle's eulogy, he said, "I am very proud to be my mother's son." In the same reflection, i would say that "i am very proud to be my grandmother's grand-daughter".

Growing up, my grandmother was ALWAYS there for us. She was both our provider as well as our carer. Whenever we were hungry, whenever we were sick, whenever we needed a shield when mum used to chase us around with a cane (ha ha!), whenever I kicked off my blanket when I was sleeping, whenever we wanted money to go and buy sweets from the local "indian man shop", whenever we came home from school, whenever we just wanted her around...she was ALWAYS there.

I remember she used to plant this green "herb" plant thing in our garden that she used to grind into a drink for me whenever i had a sore throat because it was supposed to make me feel better and heal the sore throat. Well, it kinda worked but it was SO hard to drink..tasted exactly like it looked, GREEN! She would then add loads of honey into the drink so that it was easier to swallow.

One can never go hungry living in my house. Everyday, without fail, food will be on the table. My grandma cooked FEASTS for us every day. You see, my mum can't cook. Only because we were so pampered by my grandma's cooking. She knew how to make every favourite food in my book...of all her dishes, my favourite is her "Potato & Chicken"...it's a yummilicious dish of chicken pieces cooked in oyster sauce, ginger and mushrooms. It's a simple dish but it's the way she cooked it that made is taste SOOOO GOOD! I've made this dish 1000 times in Australia but never came close to how it used to taste when she made it. YUMMY!

Grandma is one of the people in my life that i owe my life to...literally. When I was 3 months old, I had an intentine infection that caused my intestines to swell and 'knot' up together in the abdomen. That night, before they discovered this, I was crying the WHOLE night and wouldn't sleep. My mum and dad could not sleep and early in the morning, my mum went to my grandma to ask her to please take care of me as they had not been able to sleep and needed to work the next day. I can still imagine her describing the situation to me..."The moment I took you in my arms, I knew you were not crying as per normal. There was something very wrong with this baby. So i told your mother, "Don't Sleep! This baby is not crying as per normal. She is very sick. Bring her to the hospital now!" And without hesitation, my parents brought me to the hospital and there I was diagnosed with an intestine infection that caused my intestines to swell and thus swallow up the good intestines as well. If left too long, the wall could break due to rot, and I could have died from septic contamination...poo poo flowing all over my guts. Not a pretty sight. Doctors said that it was fortunate that they got me admitted in time. So I had an operation at the tender age of 3 months old. And thanks to my grandma's quick thinking and experience, I was spared further complication.

Now when i was young, I did a very naughty thing...Grandma, I have to confess. Grandma used to keep a Milo tin of coins in her cupboard, which i discovered. It was full to the brim. No joke. Mum didn't let me buy sweet tit bits so I used to take a couple of 50 cent coins and go to the nearby "indian man shop" to buy some sweets and junk food. Now, it came to a point that my grandma started to notice and she used to say, "How come my coins seem to have decreased?" My grandma is very conscientious with her money, you see...my reply was always, SILENCE. She never found out and I decided to stop. Oops.

Grandma was truly a very simple woman. She didn't ask for much. Her daily routine was to wake up early at 6am. Do tai chi...then go to the market to get the daily meats and vegetables to feed the family. In the afternoon, after preparing the soup and everything for the night dinner, she will go to play Mahjong. But she will always make sure that she comes home before we get off from school so that when we got home, she would always be around. Sometimes, she would watch TVB Hong Kong series in the afternoon. Then about 5-6pm, she will cook dinner. When dinner was ready, she will yell, on the top of her lungs, to announce that "DINNER IS READY! COME AND EAT!" And we would all have to drop whatever we were doing because it was "DINNER TIME"...most important time in my grandmother's books. Everyday, for many years, my grandmother would follow this routine. My sister, brother and I are a testament to her many years of feeding us such good food. Her whole life was to serve...her family and to make sure she gives the best she can in her capacity, which is to prepare a good & scrumptous meal every day so everyone is well fed.

I remember she used to boil "8 chan". I don't know what it is called in English but it is hit chinese concoction that when boiled, is BLACK in colour. It's a herb that is good for "women" to take. And each time, she will add about 2-3 eggs inside. Everytime she made this, my sis and I would be first in line to ask for the eggs (NOT THE DRINK! Was so YUCKS to me as a little child...) as it was oh so yummy with Soya Sauce. Heeee!

Now, I remember the happiest day of my life...is the day my grandma accepted Christ. Yup! I'm serious. I remember that when I first became a Christian, my aunt and I were the only ones within the family of this warm little house on 11, Jalan Bukit Midah, who were Christians. I was so excited and happy that I wanted everyone in the family to know Christ too. So I planned my ultimate plan to share with everyone and my grandparents were last in the list...well, simply because they were old, and a little stubborn and because they have been Buddhists for more than 70 years of their lives. So grandparents, last...

And then one April night, when I was caregroup and I had forgotten to switch off my mobile, my aunt called and explaimed, "Guess what!? Grandma accepted Christ and so did grandpa!" My reaction was one of extreme joy...I remember bursting out crying so hard because it was so unexpected and because i was so OVERJOYED. It was a miracle to me. My grandparents! Wow! It was indeed a miracle. Later, i found out that this was how it happened...Grandma had been having Tinnitus...a buzzing in her ear for weeks and she had been to the doctor and nothing helped. She'd come to a point that she was very distressed by it. When her best friend, "6 aunty" invited her to church, she thought about it for a while...Then surprise surprise, she asked my grandpa, "Should she visit the church?" And even more surprising was that my grandpa replied, "Why not? In the 60-70 odd years that you have been a Buddhist, have you been happy?" So they both ended up in church and my grand ma got healed of her Tinnitus. From that point onwards, both my grandparents became Christians and found God in their old age. God is so gracious. I know that if not for Jesus Christ, they would have lived the last few years of their lives very differently. Before my grandma became a Christian, she was often very afraid of death. So fearful was she that she used to sob to sleep...But after, it was really a world of difference as she seemed to have adopted this peace when it came to death. She knew she was going to go to Heaven and she never doubted that. When her sickness became too much...she began to pray for God to take her home. And take her home, He did...

I thank God that He gave me a dream to warn me in July...that my grandma's days were numbered and that I should go home to see her. I am so thankful that I did...5 weeks back I was back for a week and managed to spend some quality time with her...the whole time, I assured her it was ok to go home. That she would be with Jesus and without pain. But she said one thing kept her from that...She couldn't bare to leave the family behind. She wanted to see her great-grandchild grow up...She wanted to see me get married. In my dream, I knew that I would not see her again after this time so i tried to cherish every moment that I had with her. I took down her rice wine recipe, her famous "mui choi kau yuk" and all my favourite dishes. I listened to her tell me about all the stories of old...of how they came to Malaysia from China and how her in-laws treated her badly and how it was very difficult, the early days in Malaysia...she needed to wash, sew clothes and sell food to make money to support the family...She said grandpa used to be so afraid that she would run off with another man cause situations were so dire (and my grandma was a very pretty woman). But she was devoted to her family...to provide the best she could to her 4 children even in that difficult situation. Because of that dedication, all 4 children would have the opportunity to study overseas and are today successful in their own ways. She had little but what little she had, she devoted them to her children. What she had a lot of though was LOVE and my aunt said in her eulogy that even though they had so little when they were growing up, they were always happy.

No matter how strong or how together you are as a person, nothing prepares you for the moment you lose someone dear and close to you.

I will miss her...but she is at home, because home is where He is...



"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed every day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison because we look not to the things that are seen, but to the things that are unseen; for the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. Here indeed we groan, and long to put on our heavenly dwelling, so that by putting it on we may not be found naked. For while we are still in this tent, we sign with anxiety; not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothes, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee. So we are always of good couragel we know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. We are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him. For we must all appear before the judgement seat of Christ, so that each one may receive good or evil, according to what he has done in the body."

(2 Corinthians 4:16 - 5:10)