J'aime vie...

I Pray to Thee, O Lord...That I May Draw Near...

Psalm 16

A Michtam of David.

1 Keep me safe, O God,
for in you I take refuge.

The NKJV bible begins with "Preserve me, O Lord"...It's almost a cry for help...a cry for strength...a cry for God to be in His life. What did David need refuge from? Many things. Even as King, harm could befall him. Depending on when this Psalm was written, David would have been facing different difficult situations in which he held on to God and always remained in his total reliance upon God.

2 I said to the LORD, "You are my Lord;
apart from you I have no good thing."

The NKJV shows an even deeper confession of David's trust upon God - "O my soul! thou hast said unto the Lord, Thou art my Lord"...David professed his heart-felt devotion towards God, crying out from the depths of his soul that God is his Lord. It is the duty and interest of every one of us to acknowledge the Lord for our Lord, to subject ourselves to him, and then to stay ourselves upon him. "Adonai" signifies "My stayer, the strength of my heart". Covenanting with God must be heart-work; we must reach out with all that is within us. Lord, I've made this prayer for myself and I say it again, I stand to it, I abide by it, and I never want to unsay it. I want to take comfort in my trust that you hear my prayer, however small, however insignificant, however weak, you hear it and you will keep me in your safe refuge.

Lord, I wish I could be like David...always clinging on to you...always portraying such a deep love and trust in You. My faith is weak and many times, I fail to abide by the confession of Your Lordship in my life. Or I find myself praying it but not being able to do it. Lord, strengthen me because I need Your strength.

3 As for the saints who are in the land,
they are the glorious ones in whom is all my delight.

Those that have taken the lord for their Lord must, like him, be good and do good; we do not expect happiness without goodness. 2. Whatever good there is in us, or is done by us, we must humbly acknowledge that it extends not to God; so that we cannot pretend to merit any thing by it. God has no need of our services; he is not benefited by them, nor can they add any thing to his infinite perfection and blessedness. The wisest, and best, and most useful, men in the world cannot be profitable to God. If God be ours, we must, for his sake, extend our goodness to those that are his, to the saints in the earth; for what is done to them he is pleased to take as done to himself. Those that are renewed by the grace of God, and devoted to the glory of God, are saints on earth. God makes them excellent by the grace he gives them. The righteous is more excellent than his neighbour, and then he accounts them excellent. They are precious in his sight and honourable; they are his jewels, his peculiar treasure. All that have taken the Lord for their God delight in his saints as excellent ones, because they bear his image, and because he loves them. David, though a king, was a companion of all that feared God.

Lord, if i care, I care not to gain anything but to care out of love. If i shepherd, Lord, let me not do it out of duty but because I love those whom you love. Teach me to love people as You love them...See people as You see them - the potential you see in everyone you call Your own, the grace that shines through all of them, shines through me. Loving others is sometimes the hardest to do. Ask me to organise an event, have 101 leadership training meetings, but if I have not love, I have done nothing! Because the love for people that comes out of the love for God has to be the foundation of everything we do...especially in Ministry and in Shepherding.

4 The sorrows of those will increase
who run after other gods.
I will not pour out their libations of blood
or take up their names on my lips.

5 LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
you have made my lot secure.

The Lord is the portion of my inheritance and of my cup, the portion I make choice of, and will gladly take up with, how poor soever my condition is in this world. Let me have the love and favour of God, and be accepted of him; let me have the comfort of communion with God, and satisfaction in the communications of his graces and comforts; let me have an interest in his promises, and a title by promise to everlasting life and happiness in the future state; and I have enough, I need no more, I desire no more, to complete my felicity." Would we do well and wisely for ourselves, we must take God, in Christ, to be...

This verse, to me, is a powerful prayer of surrender and trust...of laying down of one's life in His Hands. Whatever the situations we face, God is in control of it, even when we don't see it. “You hold my lot," David says, indicating that his fate is completely in God’s hands. Just like David, let me trust...whatever situation or difficulty or even evil beset me, even the evil of death itself, I want to learn to trust, like Daivd, that You, my God, will hold me tight and gather me to Yourselve so that I will be in Your divine presence for evermore...

6 The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely I have a delightful inheritance.

Even in his challenges and difficulties, David continues to trust in God

7 I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.

If you had a machine that could tell you everything you needed to know and even knows the future of your life, would you want that machine??? And if you had it, would you use it?? Well, not to say that God is a future-foretelling 'machine', but God does know everything about us - the past, the present and the future. So, who better to trust and go to for advice than God Himself?! And when we sleep at night, when all is still and the only company is us and our heart (thoughts, mind), we find ourselves hearing the still small voice of the Holy Spirit that lives within us and we find peace.

Oh! Lord!! I claim this verse for myself!!! I need that peace...I want that peace...Lord, I pray that you will guide me, counsel me, and instruct me...what to do, where to go...But let me not shy away from my part of the equation. I am not to sit and wait around and think that God will do everything for me. God shows the way, but we still have to walk in it. And sometimes, we may take wrong turns, but we still have to walk upon it. God will come and show us our detour...and on that detour, we may find a path strewn with rocks and steep terrains. It's hard, but we must walk on..."I" must WALK ON!

8 I have set the LORD always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.

Fear is a wretched thing. It grips you and paralyzes you! But what David is saying is that by placing God first in His life, and knowing that God is always with him, he is not afraid / he is not shaken by anything in his life. With God walking in front of us, we can trust that He will lead us where we should go and even through places in life where we are afraid to walk or can't find the

9 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will rest secure,

God's peace is like no other...

10 because you will not abandon me to the grave,
nor will you let your Holy One (faithful one) see decay.

So strong is David's faith in God’s providence in the past and in the present that he cannot imagine God ever abandoning him in the future, even in death.

11 You have made / will make known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Lord, make known to me Your plans for me in my life. In this season of decisions and healing, Lord, please do not forget me. Lord, please hold on to me as I cling on with the little strength that I have within me. But when I find it, Lord, I know I will find joy...Because as I walk in that path, I will walk in your presence....where peace and joy flows, where Your blessings follow and every pleasure comes from knowing You and loving You....

Being Renewed in God

Ps Simon Eng – Hope PJ, Malaysia (21 May 2006)

Isaiah 40:28-31

28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

God is not tiresome, nor is He weariful. When we learn to depend on God, we will continuously be renewed and refreshed.
God wants us to be refreshed and renewed.

1. God desires to RENEW you and I
Renew = “to spring up”, to strike through
Able to breakthrough / strike through even as we are facing that barrier

1.1) He provides for our renewal – Sprit, soul and body
He gives His “might” (power) to the weak
God wants to ‘empower’ us because we are entering the ‘end times church’. Days are being quickened.

1.2) Areas God wants to renew:

• Our Love – Our First Love
Rev 2:4

• Our Faith (and doctrine)
Rev 2:14-15
We must be careful. If we listen to these false doctrines (eg. Da Vinci Code), we are wavering.
People become increasingly attracted to things of the world.

• Our Inner Life
Rev 3:1-3
Be challenged / disciplined to keep to purity. There is no longer absolute truth in the society. We must keep standard of God.

• Our Zeal / Zealousness
Rev 3:15-19
Some used to run to achieve things of God but reasoned things away.

It is a discipline in us to keep renewed in God. We need to find time to pray, engage with God, read the Bible...etc.

2. God’s Purpose in Renewing Us: (v 31)

2.1) So we may be STRONG
STRENGTH = Power, powerfulness; Abundance
“Increase our power” means “becoming strong in an abundance of power
Eg. Weight lifters – keep adding extra weight. Likewise, God wants to increase our strength to take on more weight / pressure.
We need God’s renewal to be strong.
Eph 6:10 – Be strong in God’s mighty power
Eph 3:16-18 – God may strengthen us with power. Weak Christians do not glorify God.
Mt 16:16-18 – The gates / power / authority of hell shall not prevail!
We must believe in a strong God who will strengthen His church. Then we will be a group of people that will be strong!
Let’s determine to be strong!
The season is NOW!
Eg. There are very few places designated for worship in Malaysia. New applications for establishing a church are now all rejected.
Be sure of your grounding, your God – The season will change!
God desires to renew us again and again.
The only way to be exempt from the ‘changes’ / persecutions is to compromise. We need to choose. Do we stand for God or do we compromise?

2.2) That we may be VICTORIOUS
To “soar” = to ascend, to soar above
Eagles are able to rise above the storm clouds. It’s not easy to shoot / get eagles.
Rise above our situations / challenges!
Literally, God is declaring we can rise up with wings like eagles.

• Peter
Peter made a lot of blunders. Every step after denying Jesus brought him lower and lower / further and further till he was ashamed to face Jesus.

• Paul (2 Cor 4:7-9)
We are troubled on every side BUT!!!!
‘Perplexed’ – situations where we do not have answer; continually puzzled; cast down / rejected / thrown aside
Yet through all these, WE ARE NOT SHAKEN!
God lifts us up! So we can continue to ascend, especially through the storm. (The purpose of being lifted above the clouds is to get out of harm’s way. So God is wanting us to hope in Him for He will get us out of the storm and out of harm’s way)

No one can endure continuous hardship / difficulties and God knows that. God means to renew us and strengthen us to overcome and to achieve what He wants us to do.

2.3) That we may MOVE FAST (v 31c)

Run but not weary = Run but not be exhausted or gasping.
Have enough stamina and speed, air, oxygen
Eg. Like a sprinter at the end of the game who is not exhausted or gasping for air.

• Nehemiah
Nehemiah completed the wall of Jerusalem in 52 days because the Lord was with him.

God wants to help us to have the stamina of God, that even after work everyday, we will desire to do something for God.
Move with speed!
Desire to run!

2.4) That we may PERSEVERE! (v31d)

Not “faint” = Not “worn out”
Walk is the continuous walking of the long journey.
2 Tim 2:3 – “endure”
Heb 12:1-3

So to be renewed in God (Isaiah 40:31) is to “look to”, to “tarry” to the Lord the Lord who will renew our power.

A GENUINE ENCOUNTER WITH GOD...

This sermon spoke to me a lot...And I hope that it will speak to you as well. God bless!

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A Genuine Turning Point...

Ps Simon Eng, Hope PJ 7 May 2006

Acts 9:1-19

We may or may not realise it but God is leading us through our daily situations. Many times, God wants to capture our attention to change the direction of our lives.
Whatever happened, especially in difficult & testing situations, perhaps God wants your attention. Sometimes, God needs to capture our attention before we will change.

Paul's life 'crumbled' when he encountered God.

What happens when a person truly encounters God?

1) REPENTANCE

Repentance is the 1st sign of real encounter with God.
In Paul, there was in immediate change / turn around in his life.
When we say we encountered God, there must be a turn around.

1.1) Saul repented and surrendered his life to Jesus

Paul not only repented but he accepted God's instruction for his life.
The amazing thing is that Paul's instruction was coming from his enemy, Jesus. Paul had been zealously persecuting the followers of Jesus and here, he was obeying every command given by Jesus.

When there is true repentance, we are able to do what we may not have wanted to do.

Genuine repentance leads to CHANGE.

We see this act of obedience from Paul.

1.2) Paul admitted that he was wrong

Genuine repentance leads to Genuine Admission.

To 'admit' is to 'surrender to God and do what is right'.

If we say we repent but conceal our wrongs still, it is not full repentance. There are some who come to repent to God because of wanting a need to be met. This is not true repentance.

2) RESOLUTION (v 9-16)

This was time of time for Paul as he was blinded for 3 days. In those 3 days, all Paul could do was WAIT.
To make it resolute, God needed to blind Paul.
Paul was such a choleric man, an action man, this was the only way for him to sit and wait...a time to receive new direction.
We need to clear our hearts to receive new directions.

Search your hearts before we embark on a next journey.

God leads us progressively in our life. In your time of resolution, seek God for His plan.

2.1) God's Timing for Us.

2.2) Received God's Plan

In an encounter with God, God wants to reveal His plans in our life so we can move in His direction.
Then, count the cost.

When God reveals to us His next plan, in time of resolution (allowing the heart to become resolute in God's call) we need to make sure that we count the cost (v 16).

Examples of people who received and followed God's plan: Heb 11:22-26; Joshua 24:15; Isa 50:7; Dan 1:8

We can either follow God's way or follow man's way.

3) REVOLUTION

As soon as Paul received his sight and was prayed for, he immediately went to the synagogue to preach about Jesus.
This was a most radical thing that happened.
Before, Paul had taught on the Judaism faith, now he was suddenly teaching about Jesus.

There was a radical change in Paul and he began to preach a different message.

When we encounter God, there will be a revolution - a radical change.

Eg. Luke 19:8 - Zaccheus gave away half his riches and returned 4 times the money to those who he took from.

No Looking Back....

A beautiful sunset.....From album of Bram & Vera photos....

These are the words that are constantly on my mind ever since I came back to KL.

Technically, i've been back in KL for about 10 days, another 8 days were spent in China so that is not counted. Got a nice break from the heat in China...So far, it's been like floating through one day after another.

"Lord, make me willing to be willing..."

Corrie Ten Boom, Not I, But Christ

If there is something you cannot and dare not surrender, then pray this prayer: "Lord, will You make me willing to be made willing to surrender completely?" If you pray this, your loving Savior is going to do it.

Jesus' life was one of complete surrender. He bought us with a high price. He lives in your heart through His Holy Spirit. You limit Him with your anxiety and unwillingness. He is longing to help you. Trust Him by completely surrendering to Him.

The Germans have a hymn which says: "Instead of thinking of myself, I will throw myself into the ocean of love." This is surrender. There is nothing more glorious - no longer I, but He. As soon as we throw ourselves into the arms of Jesus in full surrender, we shall be surrounded and filled with the ocean of God's love.

It is the Lord Himself who is willing to help us to surrender fully. The Holy Spirit tells us we can go to Him about it. But even when we do so, often doubts enter our hearts: Was it real? Was it complete? There is a wonderful verse of Scripture that has greatly helped me. The Lord Jesus said to a father who came to him with his demon-possessed son: "All things are possible to him that believeth" (Mark 9:23). Then this man called out: "Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief." (Mark 9:24).

If you and I now come and say: "Lord, I dedicate myself in full surrender to You," this may be said with a trembling heart; we may feel no strength, no certainty at all, but we will succeed! Do no be afraid. Come just as you are, and the power of the Holy Spirit will begin to work in you.

Just now I am reminded of the Lord Jesus in Gethsemane. The Holy Spirit strenghtened Him to surrender completely, but what distress, what fear came over Him! If you are weak and fearful, just trust in and surrender to the work of God's Spirit in you. Trust that God accepts you.

Look up to Him. Sometimes we are much occupied with ourselves, but we must be occupied with God. Don't be afraid to say: "Lord, I do not quite understand, but i surrender completely so that You will bless me and make me a blessing." If you say this in your heart - perhaps with fear and trembling - then you can be assured that God will take notice of it. He listens. He writes it into His Book, and from that moment, He takes complete possession of you. Perhaps you do not feel it, or realise it, but now you belong completely to Him.

It is such joy that we can talk about all things with Him. Just tell Him everything - you have doubts, you do not understand, or whatever it may be. You belong to Him. And now you must not only talk to Him, but also listen to His voice.

Listen to the Lord. If you do not hear His voice at once, then wait patiently. He is a Good Shepherd, and a good shepherd talks to his sheep. Waiting on the Lord is a blessing in itself. Do not immediately put down the receiver. He loves you, and He longs to say many things to you!

To China and back again....

Going back to one's roots is always a self discovering exercise. It's my first trip in China and I must say, it's been an eye-opening experience. More so because China is not what I expected it to be. I know that there have been rave reviews about Shanghai being a well advanced city and it's even more robust than Hong Kong. Definitely Melbourne! But I wasn't prepared for the extent of its size and population and 'TRAFFIC JAM'!

Nonetheless had a very good time with my parents...went to Wu Xi 无锡, then it was to the historic city of Nanjing 南京. Next stop was the favourite of the whole trip - the mountaineous beauty of Huang Shan 黄山...absolutely breathtaking! After Huang Shan, we headed to Hang Zhou 杭州 where the houses of the rich are so grand and beautiful that Malaysia and even Australia pales in comparison to them. Hang Zhou is also the state with the world's best green tea - 龙井 long jing. The final destination was Shanghai, where we took in the sights of the city with a boat tour along the harbour where the "Pearl of the East" 东方之珠 is a reminder of the rise of Shanghai as one of the most established economy in the world.

There! 8 days of running around the Eastern region of China in Jiangxi Province. 8 days of eating and visiting and taking in the culture that defines the Chinese. I've discovered something new too. My grandparents were actually living in Hong Kong before they came to Malaysia...no wonder he looks so Hong Kie sometimes. Hahahaha!

It was a good experience just being in the country of my roots. Looking at how people lived and wondering to myself how blessed that as my grandparents on both sides travelled from China to Malaysia, one of their children would meet and get married and thus have ME! In many ways I am thankful. The Chinese in China are SO different, yet i could somehow identify with them...I could be living just like them and I would be a different person altogether if they hadn't left China and journeyed far far away to a land call Malaysia...a very bold step. And I thank God for them!