J'aime vie...: Are you a Mary or a Martha??

Who do you identify with??

It takes a busy woman to understand the heart of Martha, a busy, overworked woman in the New Testament. It also takes a reflective woman who loves to learn at the feet of her Lord to understand the heart of Martha’s sister, Mary...Which are you?? Read on in the RBC Website .. >>>>

Mary & Martha : Balancing Life's Priorities

As I read through Luke 10:38-42 recently, I thought about the tension dial on my sewing machine. Luke wrote about a dinner party held in a home in Bethany:

As Jesus and His disciples were on their way, He came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to Him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what He said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to Him and asked, “Lord, don’t You care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Here’s the scene: A hot day at the end of the rainy season as summer was beginning. A whitewashed village on a hillside just 2 miles east of Jerusalem. The home of Martha who was possibly a well-to-do widow who had taken in her younger sister Mary and younger brother Lazarus.

She welcomes Jesus and His followers to her home in Bethany. She hurries to arrange a comfortable seat for Jesus and then to bring a cool drink to each of her guests. She nods to Mary who fills the basin near the door with water, then takes a towel and begins to wash each guest’s feet. Jesus’ followers seat themselves around the large room, chatting quietly about events of recent days. Villagers begin to crowd the doorway, anxious to come in and listen to the great Rabbi, Jesus.

This is not His first visit to Bethany. The townsfolk have heard some of His surprising stories before. Perhaps He will tell them more. A few edge in and sit down outside the ring of disciples. It’s possible that both Martha and Mary take their places at Jesus’ feet to learn from Him. (Luke 10:39 in the NKJV says that Mary also sat at Jesus’ feet.)

I don’t know how long Martha sat there listening to the Lord Jesus. But I have a feeling that if she was anything like me, she sat there that day with a divided mind. After all, here were 13 men who would be hungry and needed to be fed. What was on hand to feed them? What would it take to get everything ready? Would she need to slip out and run to a few shops for grain or fruit?

I identify with Martha. I know exactly what she was doing as she sat there. First, she made a mental inventory of everything in the pantry. After that, she planned the menu, making sure she didn’t overlook anything. Then she made a list in her head of all the tasks that would have to be done. When she had thought everything through, she glanced around the room surreptitiously to see the best route through the crowd to get from where she was sitting into the kitchen. When she had plotted her exit, she could sit there no longer. She had to get busy! After all, she was the hostess. It was her responsibility to meet the needs of her guests. No one would think less of Lazarus or Mary if the meal were not adequate. The blame would land squarely on her. No time to sit and listen to Jesus now—perhaps after all the work was done.

Once in the kitchen, she felt that flush of excitement that comes to many of us when we are about to do something special for someone we really care about. We want everything to be perfect—well, at least as nearly perfect as possible. Our love energizes us. We are exhilarated by the opportunity to show our love for someone special.

Can you see Martha, now in the familiar territory of her kitchen, turning into a whirlwind of activity? First, start the beans and lentils cooking with onions and garlic. Then dress the lamb for roasting. Grind the grain and mix the bread for baking. Then prepare the figs and pomegranates. Get water to mix with the wine. Set the table. Stir the beans and lentils. Turn the lamb on the spit. Start baking the bread.

Glancing out the window at the position of the sun in the sky, Martha suddenly realized it would soon be mealtime and she was far from finished. She may have felt what I feel when I’ve been carried along on the crest of my enthusiasm, only to realize I’m running out of time and I can’t finish everything I planned to do. When that happens, I get angry—angry with myself and angry with anyone else who might have made a difference in accomplishing my plans.

I suspect that is what happened to Martha. Suddenly the plans and the work that had started out as pure joy turned sour. Luke tells us in verse 40 that she was distracted by all the preparations she was making. The harder she worked, the more worked up she became.

It was Mary’s fault. If Mary had been there to help her, it would have been different.

We all know that feeling, don’t we? It’s bad enough having everything to do. It’s even worse when someone we think should be helping us pull the load lets us down. Our irritation about the unfairness of it all builds to the bursting point.

That’s what happened to Martha. In verse 40, she finally explodes:

Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!

Interesting, isn’t it, that Martha spoke her irritation to Jesus, not to Mary. Perhaps she had already tried unsuccessfully to catch Mary’s eye and signal her to get up and help. Or she may have nudged Mary, who shook off her nudge and went on listening to Jesus.

We all have ways we use to get a message across. We clear our throat. We drum our fingers on the table top. We make attention-getting motions. It irritates us even more when the other person ignores us!

Whatever had already happened, Martha spoke directly to Jesus, accusing Him of not caring about her. She was sure that, if He really cared, He would tell Mary to get up and help her.

I’m intrigued by the way Martha linked Jesus’ care for her to His willingness to tell Mary to get busy. Martha thought she knew just how Jesus should demonstrate His care—by lightening her load.

That is exactly what we see Him doing, though not in the way she expected. In His response we learn much about our discipleship as Christian women:

Martha, Martha, . . . you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her (Lk. 10:41-42).

The problem did not lie in the work Martha was doing. It was her attitude of fretting and worrying that created the bad situation. Jesus knew that Martha put too much stress on things that didn’t matter. Martha’s problem was one of balance, of holding life in the proper tension. Take a closer look at what Jesus said and did not say to this overburdened woman.

First, Jesus did not rebuke her for making preparations for Him and His disciples. If she as the hostess in the home had decided to skip any food preparation, her guests would have gone hungry. What was going on in that Bethany kitchen was important.

We all have responsibilities we carry out every day of our lives. We go to the office. We cook. We grade papers. We clean the house. We do the laundry. We do these things, and we want to do them well. Dorothy Sayers reminds us that no crooked table legs came out of the carpenter shop in Nazareth. God is not honored by shoddy work or the neglect of our necessary duties in life.

But we must be sure that the necessary doesn’t get out of proportion and distort our lives. We can easily confuse means and ends. Without thinking, we can turn what is a means of living for God into an end in itself. When we take something that is not too important and make it primary in our lives, what is otherwise harmless can become a stumbling block for us.

One of the things Jesus saw that afternoon 2,000 years ago was that Martha was looking down on what Mary had chosen to do. Martha imposed her value system—possibly a sparkling house and certainly a sumptuous meal—on Mary. If bustling around was “necessary” for Martha, it must also be necessary for Mary......

To read on, go to RBC website "Mary and Martha : Balancing Life's Priorities"...>>>

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I was reminded lately about God's word for me for this year - "Mary". The one thing I need at this time is to just sit at the feet of Jesus and to refresh my love for Him and be refreshed by His love...that was what Mary did. I've always saw myself as more of a Mary than a Martha. Sometimes, I think that I should be more of a Martha...And the author was highlighting this fact in the article..."To get our service right, we get our priorities right. We let Jesus minister to us before we go out to minister for Him. That is God’s order: we first love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, strength, and mind, and then we are prepared to go out and love our neighbor as ourselves. When we turn that upside down, we may end up feeling overworked and unappreciated. When we keep our priorities in line with God’s priorities, we will find that God enables us to do what needs to be done with joy and satisfaction." We must first love God before we try to love others. If we do that, we will end of being dry, overworked and burnt out. To be honest, I have found myself in places like that before. Because I'm such a Mary, it doesn't come natural for me to be a Martha...a well planned, analytical and task-driven Martha, who is efficient and does everything well. So when I try using my own strength, I may get there and get tired out or I may not do such a good job. I should just resolve to be a Mary...I guess, the gist is that every Mary needs a Martha and every Martha needs a Mary to balance each other out and to learn from one another...only will this strike a balance between the 2. As they learn from one another, they would then find a greater balance in their characters and priorities. But the key is that they should not look down at either and judge each for who they are...but appreciate the differences and help with encouragement to achieve that which we can't achieve alone.

No matter if you are a Martha or a Mary, just love the Lord and deepen the relationship and draw from Him all that we need to learn and surely, we will be the perfect Martha-Mary He wants us to be...

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