One Long Weekend...clinging on to Him...

Back from a short break of quietness. Had a long weekend. The student leaders got together for a short retreat at Elaine Lee's house from Thursday to Saturday. The photo on the right is me, Elaine and Aunty Pansy early in the morning, while having breakfast of muesli/oats with honey and scrambled eggs on toast...topped with a milo/cofee...yums! We had fun and fellowshipped...had times of sharing and fun times of games...and teaching times. But most importantly, it was God's presence that moved in our midst that was the highlight...He is really doing a new thing in many of our hearts. Talking with Mavis yesterday after church service...We both agreed that this will be a significant year for the church and for many people in their own lives as well. That there will be major changes and decisions that will really bring us into the course of God's plan for our lives...For me, I feel that that's already happening.

Saturday was Kong's birthday! We had dinner with him @ Carnegie's Grandma Kim Chi on Sunday night. Was a nice time...Lap, Mabel, Elena, Val, Trina, Yoyo, Anthony were there...think Kong enjoyed himself but was also home sick. Over this weekend - from Friday onwards to last night - God's been good and very gracious...He showed me many things and comforted me in many ways. Isn't it amazing that we have a God who knows our coming and going and speaks to us even through our life situations and circumstances so that we will be "built up"...in our character, in our "emotional intelligence" (EQ...hehe!), in our thinking...so that we don't remain where we are.

"May Your unfailing love be my comfort, according to Your promise to Your servant. Let Your compassion come to me that I may live, for Your law is my delight."... Psalm 119:76-77.

During one of the worships, I just sat down and curled up on the floor as God's presence was so comforting and real. Everyone had begun to stand up but I just didn't feel like it. I just wanted to sit there. And I told God I did not feel like standing up. I just wanted to stay there...the amazing thing is that right there, I felt that God said, "It's ok. Then i'll come down to your level," and He came and sat down across me and opened up His arms to me. In my heart, I just felt that as I drew near, God just held me in His arms. I felt so safe there...Like everything will surely be ok.

I lift up my eyes to the hills -
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip
He who watches over you will not slumber;
Indeed, He who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you -
the Lord is you shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from harm -
He will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore...Psalm 121...

I love this Psalm. I think that this Psalm sums up my feeling at that moment when Jesus came down to my level and embraced me. He is a God who is not un-knowing of our fears, weakness and feelings. He made us to have them...emotions. So God is not an emotionless God who doesn't want us to feel. But He understands our weaknesses and our emotions and covers us when we do not 'feel' 100%. Truly...who is our help?! Only God! If He made the heaven and earth and ALL that we see before us...do you think your problem is too big? Do you think that He can't help us in our situation? Help us find a job? Help us graduate from our degrees with distinction (if we are faithful ourself by being diligent as well)? Help us to reach out to our family? Help us to learn to overcome our fears? Help us to learn French? Help us to PRAY!? .... God is our help? Who do i look to? Where will my help come from?

Evangelism is a matter of life and death. Someone said this and I was pondering it. Yes it is our duty to share the grace that God has shown us and the love He poured out for man when He was nailed to the cross...but is the burden ours to carry? We have to ask God for compassion...but is it is too heavy a burden for us to carry?? We are God's servants. We need to understand the Master's heart so we can serve what the Master wants. And we love the Master...so, we want to fulfil what is in the Master's heart. But as one draw closer to the Master and the line blurs and He becomes intimately closer in Your heart and is a Friend as well as Your Master, you can't help but start to have His burdens and His thoughts in Your heart as well. Am I thinking today like my Maker? Am I thinking more like my Maker today than yesterday?? How has it affected my life? I can't help but ponder these questions and feel that He may not be as close in my heart as He desires to be...

He is no fool, who gives up what he cannot keep, to find what he cannot lose...

This was one of the word that was shared yesterday during Sunday service and it reaffirmed the sense of needing to let go of things in my life that holds me back from the calling that I know that God has over my life...By letting go, I am submitting the result to God. It may not mean that I do not do anything at all or that all is lost. It means that I am letting God full control to either close the door or keep the door open as I do my best to walk each step of my life, following Him. Abraham was instructed to sacrifice his only son, Isaac, whom he bore in his ripe old 99 over years old...99! What a miracle. Did Abraham think, "Now God wants me to give him back?" But Abraham didn't think twice about obeying God. He's learnt how mighty God is and did not think that God was unable to produce another heir? Or was Abraham thinking that God would raise Isaac back to life? I don't know what Abraham thought. All I know is that this is something that only a man's unswerving faith through the "knowing of God" in their heart could do. And what happens? God stops Abraham in the nick of time and provided a ram instead. This is SO God. He is always on time. I think what God really wanted to do was to test Abraham's heart. "Seek the Giver and not the gift", because when you find the Giver, far greater are the gifts that you will receive...God's really teaching me to give up following what I want and to keep following Him wholeheartedly.

More to come...